《燃情克利夫兰》于摄影棚观众前现场录制 Hot in cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
好了 各位 All right, people.
三周后就是奥斯卡颁奖典礼了 The academy awards are three weeks away,
我们要动员起来了 and we need to mobilize.
首先 我需要艳惊四座的致谢辞 Now first, I need a killer speech--
能够令我那些被提名的同行们更恨我 One that will make my fellow nominees hate me even more,
因为我是那么的亲切优雅 because I come off so gracious.
幸运的是 咱们中间有位作家 Now, luckily, we have a writer in our midst.
我才不觉得自己是作家呢 Oh, I wouldn't call myself a writer.
我也不觉得 Neither would I.
所以我让爱尔卡来写 That's why I want Elka to do it.
她现在可火了 她写的剧 She has more sizzle now that that play she wrote
已经进军百老汇了 is going to Broadway.
克利夫兰的百老汇 不是纽约的 The Broadway theatre in Cleveland, not New York.
请问你写的戏剧在哪里上演 And where is your play being performed?
对哦 你没有写过 Oh, that's right, you don't have a play.
下一项 乔依和梅兰妮 我需要决定 Next, Joy and Melanie, I need to decide
哪一位是我参加奥斯卡颁奖礼的同伴 who will be my plus-one for the academy awards.
我压根没想过你会带谁去 Oh, I hadn't even thought about who you would take.
我也没想过 Neither had I.
当然了 你需要有人陪你一起在加长轿车上 But of course you are gonna need someone to sit in the limo
在去颁奖礼的途中一起喝香槟 and drink champagne with you on the way to the show.
之后是州长舞会 And afterwards the governor's ball,
名利场派对 等等 等等 the vanity fair party, et cetera, et cetera.
如果你选择一位女性做你的同伴 And if you do choose a woman as your plus-one,
她会需要一件礼服 she's gonna need a gown.
对 礼服 Yes, a gown!
她会需要一件礼服 She'll need a gown.
我想带你们一起去 Well, I would like to take both of you--
老天 我们要去参加奥斯卡颁奖礼了 Oh, my god, we're going to the oscars!
我知道 我好激动 I know, I'm so excited!
但不行 我只能带一个人去 But I can't. I can only take one of you.
无论你选谁 我都高兴 Oh, well, you know, whomever you choose, I'll be happy.
我也一样 I feel the same way.
当然了 如果有需要我帮忙的 And of course, if there's anything that I can do for you
在颁奖前 叫我就行 in the meantime, you just ask me.
当然 你有任何需要我也都会帮忙 And of course, I will do anything you need as well too.
如果你选择乔依 And if you do happen to choose Joy, you know,
我会为她高兴的 I'm gonna just be so happy for her.
如果你选梅兰妮 我也会为她高兴的 And I'll be so happy for Melanie if you choose her.
你笑什么 Why are you smiling?
这下有得乐了 This is gonna be fun.
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时间轴&后期：鱼骨头 翻译&校对&总监：醉芝士
关于致谢辞 我有些想法 So I've had some thoughts about my speech.
我想用笑话开场 I'd like to open with a joke.
不 No.
"不"是什么意思 What do you mean "no"?
你很搞笑 写个笑话没问题 You're funny. You can write a joke.
我是搞笑 没错 I'm funny. Yes.
你意思是我不搞笑咯 Wait, are you saying that I'm not funny?
有这说法 It's been said.
-给你的 -礼物吗 - For you. - A gift?
谢谢 Oh, thank you.
梵克的 等等 Van cleef--wait, wait.
你开车去芝加哥买的吗 You drove all the way to Chicago for this?
送最好的朋友 根本算不上远 Oh, it's not that far for a best friend.
老天 Oh, my god.
乔依 你看梅兰妮刚送我的这么漂亮的项链 Joy, look at this gorgeous necklace Melanie just gave me.
真的没什么 Oh, it's nothing, really.
没错 我得开车去芝加哥才买到的 I mean, yes, I had drive all the way to Chicago for it,
但没什么的 but it's no big deal.
芝加哥 老天 Chicago, gosh.
我给维多利亚买了这个 只是开车去了趟纽约而已 I bought Victoria this, but I only drove to New York.
纽约远多了 New York is further away.
是吗 Is it?
当你给最好的朋友 Time flies when you're buying
买鱼子酱早餐时 再远的路时间也过得快 breakfast caviar for your best friend.
鱼子酱是我的最爱 Caviar is my favorite.
你最爱的人送你的最爱的食物 Your favorite from your favorite.
你做得真棒 You did a very nice thing.
我们都做得很棒 Now, we both did nice things.
这不是竞赛 It's not a competition.
不是的 No, no, it's not.
只是两位感情一样好的好友 It's just two equally good best friends
对维多利亚好 doing nice things for Victoria.
-不好 -怎么啦 - Oh, no. - What? What is it?
你们知道那个我赞助的"维多利亚·蔡斯高速公路"吗 You know that Victoria Chase stretch of highway I sponsored?
显然你要出钱清洁 Well, apparently you're supposed to pay to clean it,
而不是领了后 就让其自生自灭 not just adopt it and leave it to its own devices,
好像对孩子那样 as you would a child.
你会成为优秀的养母的 维多利亚 You know, you would make a great adoptive mother, Victoria.
你心灵的宽宏度 就和你衣服尺码的苗条度一样大 Yes, your heart is as big as your dress size is small.
见鬼 这马屁拍得绝了 Damn it! That was a good one.
我有50小时的社会服务令 Oh, I've got 50 hours community service.
-我帮你做 维多利亚 -你确定吗 - I'll do it for you, Victoria. - Are you sure?
乔依 你太好了 Oh, Joy, you're amazing.
什么 What? What?
还有50小时 And I got 50 more hours
因为第一次违规警告时没反应 for not responding to the first violation.
我帮你 I'll do it for you.
真不敢相信你们愿意这样帮我 I can't believe you would both do this for me.
我的好友最棒了 I have the best friends.
我们很开心能帮忙 We're happy to help.
一个人能成为奥斯卡提名人的机会能有多少次啊 I mean, how many times is someone nominated for an oscar?
如果这人是维多利亚·蔡斯的话 就可能很多次啊 Many times, probably, if that someone is Victoria Chase.
慢着 我能说得更好 Wait, I can top that.
洗洗睡吧 乔依 这回合梅兰妮胜了 Hit the showers, Joy. That round went to Melanie.
我刚和社会服务那边的人通完电话 I just got off the phone with the community service people.
我必须清洗公园的移动厕所50小时 I have to spend 50 hours cleaning port-a-potties in the park.
这周是克利夫兰的辣椒酱节 And this week is cleveland's chili fest.
你应该和乔依换工作 You should trade jobs with Joy.
她不会想去洗厕所的 She won't wanna clean toilets.
卖点在公园上 Sell her on the park.
我碰到了最悲惨的社会服务令 I got the worst community service ever.
他们要我在医院太平间工作 They've got me working in the hospital morgue.
不如跟梅兰妮换吧 Why not trade jobs with Melanie?
我没办法说服她在太平间工作 I could never convince her to work in the morgue.
卖点在医院上 Sell her on the hospital.
乔依 Hi, Joy.
你知道了社会服务令的内容吗 So did you get your community service?
知道 I did.
我在医院工作 I'm working in a hospital.
是吗 为病人服务吗 Really? Working with patients?
主要是前病人 Mostly former patients.
你呢 How about you?
我在公园工作 打扫一下 Oh, I'm working in the park. You know, just tidying up.
你真幸运 Oh, lucky you.
我整天就会被那些医生调戏 I'll be stuck with all these doctors flirting with me all day,
他们还那么年轻 and they'll all be so young.
是啊 Oh, yeah.
你知道我运气不好的 可能会被 You know, knowing my luck, I'll probably be invited
一堆大学男生邀请去玩飞盘 to play frisbee with a bunch of college boys
真是太丢人了 and totally embarrass myself.
我不介意去户外 You know, I wouldn't mind being outdoors.
我宁愿做些累活 Rather like getting my hands dirty.
我不介意去医院 And I don't mind a hospital.
也许我们应该交换 Maybe we should switch.
我觉得这样能行 I could see that working.
你好 梅兰妮 Hello, Melanie.
我恨你 I hate you!
我更恨你 I hate you more.
你要完蛋了 莫雷蒂 You're going down, Moretti.
除非我死了 Over my dead body.
别介意哈 No offense.
我希望乔依和梅兰妮和我们一样这么开心 I hope Joy and Melanie are having as good a time as we are.
一个在厕所 一个在太平间 One's in a toilet, and one's in a morgue.
-再来点鱼子酱吗 -谢谢 - More caviar? - Oh, please.
我的致谢辞写的怎么样了 So how is my speech coming along?
我现在就在想呢 I'm working on it right now.
你只是在喝酒而已 You're just drinking wine.
只是表面看上去是这样 Oh, it just looks that way.
我其实在写作呢 I'm actually writing.
该重写了 Time for a rewrite.
雷纳医生 谢谢你亲自上门为我做这个小手术 Dr. Rayner, thanks again for coming to my home for this procedure.
鉴于这个"面部填充术"属于新技术 Since this facial filler is so new,
我有点担心 I'm just a little nervous
现在距离奥斯卡颁奖日这么近 该不该做 about injecting myself this close to the oscars.
我理解 I understand.
你到底想改变一下面部的哪一块呢 So what parts of your face are we targeting?
我先让你看看我的小白鼠吧 Oh, let me show you on my guinea pig.
瞧 她没有我这种天生的高颧骨 Now, she doesn't have my naturally high cheekbones,
我也没有她这里的下垂和这里的凹陷 and I don't have the drooping here or the sagging here.
我可以在这里扎一针 Well, I could plump here,
在颧骨和这里加一点填充物 add some filler above the cheekbones here and maybe here,
-然后拉一下... -话说 - and then pull-- - You know what?
给我个惊喜吧 你疯狂发挥吧 Surprise me. Just go nuts.
疯狂发挥 Go nuts?
顺便处理一下她惊恐时会露出的皱纹 And do something about those lines when she's scared.
我得顶着这个东西多久啊 How long do I have to keep this on?
你也听到医生说的了 要等到塑形固定 You heard what he said, until it sets.
你现在已经很靓了 You look great already.
我来告诉你我看着像什么吧 I'll tell you what I look like.
我看着像是唯一一个 I look like the one friend
愿意为你做这种事的朋友 who would have done this for you.
我不知道还有谁会愿意 I don't know who else would.
维多利亚 猜猜我为你做了什么 Victoria, guess what I did for you.
你怎么可以这样 How could you?
好了 别吵 Now, now, no fighting.
你们都做出了伟大而重要的举动 You both just did something wonderful and important.
互相抱一下吧 Give each other a hug.
这份草稿很棒 但我有几个问题 This is a great draft, but I have a couple of questions.
你要我感谢的这个托尼是谁啊 Who is this Tony you have me thanking?
你的第三个孩子 Your third child.
说的好 Good catch.
医生给乔依和梅兰妮打的注射针 You know, those injections that doctor gave to Joy and Melanie
效果真的非常不错 really turned out nicely.
我打算亲自尝试一下了 I'm gonna have it done myself.
你好 我是维多利亚·蔡斯 Hello, this is Victoria Chase.
天啊 Oh, my god!
我看着跟怪物一样 I look like a freak!
我再打给你吧 I'll call you back.
那个该死的面颊注射物移位了 That bloody cheek injection migrated.
让我长了个喉结 It gave me an adam's apple.
我看上去跟男人一样了 I look like a man!
往好的一面看 跟你的大手和平胸倒是挺搭的 On the bright side, it goes with the hands and the chest.
乔依 医生之前有提醒过我们 Well, Joy, the doctor warned us
像这种情况是有可能发生的 that something like this could happen.
他从没说过会长个喉结啊 He never saidthis would happen!
或许他只对我说了 Maybe he said that only to me.
我为你毁容了 维多利亚 I disfigured myself for you, Victoria.
这个最好是有意义的 This had better count for something.
当然了 Oh, absolutely.
不 你现在领先梅兰妮一大截了 No, you definitely are way ahead of Melanie right now.
等等 凭什么 我也进行注射了啊 Wait, wait, why? I got the same treatment.
我长了个喉结 I have an adam's apple!
为什么那就可以加分了 And how is that a plus?
你们走红毯时 人们看到你的同伴长得 What will people think when on the red carpet
跟伪娘版的约翰·斯塔莫斯一样会怎么想啊 your date looks like John Stamos in drag?
经典喜剧《欢乐满屋》的主演 很帅哦
那可是对你的赞美哦 乔依 That was a compliment, Joy.
梅兰妮 不好意思 Melanie, I'm sorry,
但乔依为我做出了很大的牺牲 but Joy made a real sacrifice for me.
我也可以牺牲的啊 给我个任务吧 Well, I can do that too. Just give me a task.
我来帮你开门 I'll get that for you.
是给你的 It's for you.
是什么 What is it?
不要啊 是淑女裤公司的人寄来的 Oh, no. It's from the ladypants people.
"亲爱的尿失禁国际代言人 "Dear international face of incontinence...
来见识一下强力吸收礼服吧 Say 'hi' to enclosed absorbent gown
你在法律上有义务穿去参加奥斯卡颁奖礼" that you are legally obligated to wear to the oscar academies."
告诉我这不是真的 This can't be happening.
你不是说你的律师会替你摆平这事的吗 I thought your lawyers were gonna make that go away,
那样你就可以穿迪奥礼服了 so you could wear the dior gown.
我也是这么以为的 So did I.
"尽管你的法律团队付出了艰苦卓绝的努力 "Despite best good efforts from your legal team,
我们的合同跟我们的吸尿裤一样 是滴水不漏的 Our contract, like our garment, is watertight.
请收好你的淑女裤牌礼服 Here is your Mrs. Ladypants gown,
现在更是加入了水晶工艺" now with litter crystal technology."
天啊 Oh, god.
也没那么差劲啊 It's not so bad.
以你的身材 穿什么都美 With your figure, you can make anything look beautiful.
你穿白色真是美呆了 And you look amazing in white.
你看着跟天使一样 You look like an angel.
系尿布的天使 Wearing a diaper.
我死定了 Oh, I'm ruined.
等等 还有个附言 Wait, there's a P.S.
"别提前曝光这件礼服 "Do not spoil surprise of gown.
如果在奥斯卡典礼前被媒体爆料出来 If it is seen in press before oscar academies,
我们就不允许你穿了" we will not allow you to wear it."
真是太棒了 This is fantastic.
我只需要找人穿着这异形装 I mean, all I have to do is get someone photographed in public
在公共场合拍个照就行了 wearing this monstrosity.
你真聪明 维多利亚 Well, you're smart, Victoria.
你肯定能找到人的 You'll think of someone.
大家好 我是梅兰妮·莫雷蒂 Hi. Melanie Moretti.
"问问梅兰妮"栏目主播 Ask Melanieat wjvb.
我很高兴参加克利夫兰电台颁奖礼 I'm so happy to be here at the Cleveland radio awards.
我穿的是什么 Who am I wearing?
淑女裤牌礼服 Mrs. Ladypants.
没错 我说的就是这个 Yes, that's what I said.
淑女裤牌礼服 Mrs. Ladypants.
天啊 总水管爆裂了 Oh, my god, the water main just blew!
我们需要个东西来吸干这些水 We need something to suck up this water.
我有东西可以帮忙 I have something.
嘿 大英雄来了 Hey, here's the hero.
没错 我用淑女裤把水管大缺口给堵住了 Yes, I used the ladypants dress to plug the giant leak.
水管压力把裙子从我身上撕扯下去了 The force of the water tore the dress right off my body.
还记得你之前说 那衣服有个内置小裤裤 Remember when you said, because it had a built-in pant,
所以我不需要穿内裤吗 that I didn't need to wear underwear?
我真希望我穿了 I really wish I had.
至少几百万人在Youtube上看到视频了 Well, at least millions of people saw it on youtube.
有人传到Youtube上去了吗 Somebody posted it on youtube?
我必须传啊 效果超好 Well, I had to, and it worked.
淑女裤公司的律师说 我不能再穿那件礼服了 And the ladypants lawyers said that I no longer get to wear that gown.
所以我听你这话的意思就是 So what I hear you saying
我为你做出了巨大的牺牲 is that I made the biggest sacrifice for you.
你吗 You?
我可是长了个喉结 I have an adam's apple.
我触碰了死尸 I touched dead bodies.
我打扫了屎坑 I cleaned port-a-potties.
-芝加哥 -纽约 - Chicago. - New york!
-梵克项链 -法式早餐 - Van cleef! - Petrossian!
够了 你们两个 Stop it, both of you.
我现在只剩不到两小时 I have less than two hours
来选择去参加奥斯卡颁奖礼的伴侣了 to choose my plus-one for the academy awards,
你们简直让我压力山大 and all you're doing is stressing me out.
我要去做个水疗 I'm going to the spa.
我要坐在桑拿室里 好好清醒一下脑子 I'm gonna sit in the sauna and gonna clear my head.
真是个好主意 维多利亚 只剩你和你的想法 That's a great idea, Victoria, just you and your thoughts.
你那些超赞的想法 Your amazing thoughts!
是啊 你想蒸多久都行 Yes, take all the time you need,
我最最亲爱的朋友 my dear, dear friend!
我还是出去散散步吧 I think I may just go for a walk.
我去查看一下邮件吧 And I may go check the mail.
-维多利亚 等等我 -等等我 - Victoria, wait for me! - Wait for me!
乔依主动要帮我泊车 可真好 It was nice of Joy to volunteer to park my car.
是啊 It really was.
就连最差劲的人 你也能让她展现出最好的一面 You bring out the best in even the worst people.
不如你先去桑拿室里蒸着 Why don't you just go relax in the sauna,
我来替我们三个签一下字 and I'll sign in for all three of us?
你可真好 Oh, that's sweet of you.
谢谢 Thank you.
天啊 Oh, my god.
-那是维多利亚·蔡斯吗 -是的 - Was that Victoria Chase? - Yes, it was.
她迫切需要你的帮助 And she desperately needs your help.
有一个疯狂的异装癖在跟踪她 See, there's this crazy transvestite stalker following her.
如果她跟来这里的话 And if he shows up here,
请你务必叫安保把她弄走 it is imperative that you call security.
你绝对不会认错的 You can't miss him.
穿着超短裤 长着个大大的喉结 Crazy short shorts and a huge adam's apple.
不知道乔依为什么还没来 I wonder what's keeping Joy.
她大概是收到了米奇的短信吧 Oh, she probably got a text from Mitch.
你也知道 只要他一打电话或发短信 You know, whenever he calls or texts,
她就会放下手头的一切 she just drops everything.
想象下 如果她在奥斯卡现场收到他的短信 Imagine if he texted her at the oscars.
你就会被孤零零扔在红毯上 You'd be all alone on the red carpet.
没人会冲你叫喊 "天啊 No one to yell, "oh, my god,
维多利亚·蔡斯和珍妮弗·劳伦斯 Victoria Chase and Jennifer Lawrence
看着就像姐妹一样" look just like sisters!"
或许别人也会这么喊的 Well, somebody else will probably say it.
我不是个异装癖 I am not a transvestite!
也不是跟踪狂 Or a stalker!
我是个女人 I am a woman!
女人有这么大喉结的吗 With that adam's apple?
听着 兄弟 安保人员马上就要过来了 Look, buddy, security's on its way.
如果你不想被捕 我建议你立即离开 So if you don't wanna get arrested, I suggest you leave.
立刻 Now.
并且 Also...
这是我的号码 Here's my number.
我这就给奥斯卡组委会的人打电话 All right, I'm gonna call the oscar people right now
告诉他们我决定带你去了 and tell them you're my plus-one.
慢着 Not so fast.
你是怎么进来的 How did you get in?
我不得不向那个前台证明 I had to prove to the receptionist
我是个女人 that I'm a woman.
你脱了上衣吗 You took off your top?
那一招没管用 That didn't work.
我也不想给你添堵 但作为你最好的朋友 I hate to burden you with this, but as your best friend,
我必须告诉你 你的朋友梅兰妮 I need to tell you that your friend Melanie
卑鄙无耻下流 is mean and deceitful.
首先 我才是维多利亚最好的朋友 First of all, I'm Victoria's best friend.
而且如果有人卑鄙无耻下流 那也是乔依 And if anyone's being deceitful, it's Joy.
姐妹们 我不能怪你们为我而争吵 Ladies, ladies, I can't fault you for fighting over me,
但你们得记住 你们都是我最好的朋友 but you have to remember that you're both my best friends.
不 但你得有个最好最好的朋友 No, but you have to have a best best friend.
难道一直支持你的人不是最好最好的朋友吗 And isn't that the person that's always been there for you?
你是说 我为她给苏珊·露琪下毒吗 Oh, you mean like how I poisoned Susan Lucci for her?
我为她色诱食人族 I seduced a cannibal for her.
得了吧 Oh, please!
我为维多利亚色诱过无数的男人 I seduced countless men for Victoria.
事实上 我献身到还嫁过给维多利亚 In fact, I'm so devoted, I married Victoria.
你还跟她离婚了 You also divorced her.
我记得 离婚过程搞得很僵 As I recall, it was a mean and contentious divorce.
才不是 It was not!
你怎敢侮辱我们美丽的结合 How dare you insult our beautiful union?
得了吧 Oh, please.
我都已经记不清多少次 I mean, I can't even count how many times
我令自己出丑 违反法律 I have humiliated myself, broken the law
以及自己的做人原则 来为维多利亚做事 and my own standards of decency just to do things for Victoria.
你的次数我肯定翻倍 Well, take your number and double it.
记住 我的做人原则比你的要低 And remember, my standards are lower than yours.
慢着 Wait a minute.
你和我为了维多利亚 以友谊 You and I have risked our personal relationships,
生活和自我价值做赌注 lives, and self-worth for Victoria.
现在我们为了维多利亚 这样针锋相对 And now we're fighting against each other for Victoria?
我们应该联合起来对付她 We should be banding together against her.
我不喜欢现在的发展趋势 Ooh, I do not like the way this is going.
我们也不喜欢 乔依 我们走 Neither do we. Come on, Joy. Let's go.
再见 维多利亚 Good-bye, Victoria.
我的天 Oh, my god.
我刚被邀请参加艾尔顿·约翰的奥斯卡派对 I just got invited to the Elton John oscar party.
可以带一个伴 Plus one.
拜托带我去 我是他的铁粉 Oh, please take me! I'm his biggest fan!
不 带我去 我是你的铁粉 No, take me. I'm your biggest fan.
但你刚刚说 No, but you just said--
我只是给梅兰妮下套 I was just trying to draw Melanie out,
这样她会说出对你的真实感觉 so she'd reveal her true feelings about you.
-我也是这样做的 -骗子 - That's what I was doing! - Liar!
你才是骗子 You're the liar!
如果你带她去派对 她会让你没面子的 If you take her to that party, she's gonna embarrass you
她会问艾尔顿她是不是长得像凯特·贝金赛尔 by asking Elton if she looks like Kate Beckinsale.
我本来就长得像凯特·贝金赛尔 I do look like Kate Beckinsale!
现在你像男版凯特·贝金赛尔 Right now you look like Nate Beckinsale.
你收回这话 You take that back.
你有本事就来呀 兄弟 Make me, dude.
我欠你们一个道歉 I owe you both an apology.
我不应该让你们为了去奥斯卡颁奖礼而竞争 I should never have had you compete for that oscar ticket.
所以我决定最公平的办法就是 And so I decided that the fairest thing to do
将你们的名字放在帽子里 is to put both your names in a hat
凭天意选择 and just choose my plus-one blindly.
但首先我要给你们念念 But first I want to read to you
爱尔卡为我写的奥斯卡得奖致谢辞 my oscar acceptance speech that Elka wrote.
拜托照着念 As written, please.
让文字发挥它们的作用 Let the words do the work.
瞧这些作家 Writers.
瞧这些演员 Actors.
感谢这莫大的荣誉 "Thank you for this incredible honor.
感谢学院 感谢优秀的制片人 Thank you to the academy, to our brilliant producers
陶德·米利纳 乔什和乔尔·曼德尔 Todd Milliner, Josh and Joel Mandel"--
不 No, no.
这不是我要说的 This is not what I want to say.
我要从心底里致谢 I need to speak from the heart.
这才是我要说的致谢辞 Here's the speech that I'd really rather give.
我感谢我两位最好的朋友 I want to thank my two best friends.
没错 两位 Yes, two.
三十年来 我们肝胆相照 For 30 years, we have had each other's backs.
我们分享了彼此的喜悦和心碎 We have shared each other's triumphs and heartbreaks,
令难过变成开心 made the hard times good times
令开心变成幸福 and the good times great times.
梅兰妮·莫雷蒂 乔依·斯克罗格 Melanie Moretti and Joy Scroggs,
我将此荣誉与你们共享 I share this award with you
就像我们共享生命一样 as I share my life with you.
维多利亚 Oh, Victoria.
这真是 That is so...
充满爱意与宽容 Lovely and kind.
我们对你的感觉也是这样 And we feel the exact same way about you.
姐妹们 真是对不起 Oh, guys, I'm so sorry.
我们为什么要为这个争吵啊 Why did we ever fight about this?
就是啊 我们在想什么啊 I know. What were we thinking?
我们永远不会要你在我们两个中选择 We would never ask you to choose between the two of us.
你不如带爱尔卡去奥斯卡颁奖礼吧 So why don't you take Elka to the oscars?
我 Me?
去奥斯卡颁奖礼 Go to the Oscars?
这一直是我的梦想 It's always been a dream.
那就决定了 Well, then it's settled.
爱尔卡 你是我的同伴 Elka, you are my plus-one.
来吧 梅兰妮 Come on, Melanie.
帮我开瓶欢庆的美酒 Help me open a celebratory bottle of wine.
我们为爱尔卡干杯 We'll toast to Elka.
我买的 Hey, do we still have
那瓶上好波尔多红酒还有吗 that great bottle of bordeaux I bought?
对不起 我早餐时喝完了 Oh, sorry, I finished it up for breakfast.
那可是一千块一瓶的红酒 That was a $1,000 bottle of wine.
真的带出了冷冻华夫饼的深层美味 It really brought out the subtle flavors of my eggo.
你的计划天衣无缝 Your plan worked perfectly.
她们完全信了假的致谢辞 They totally fell for the fake speech.
我说了她们会信的 I told you they would.
我没有办法在她们中选择 And I didn't have the heart to choose between them.
我说的每个字都是真心的 And I meant every word I said.
但你不会真说这个吧 But you're not gonna give that speech, are you?
为什么不行 Well, why not?
没人想听你非名人朋友的事 No one wants to hear about your noncelebrity friends.
我认识她们 我不在乎 I know them, and I don't care.
爱尔卡 你能相信 Elka, can you believe
你要去参加奥斯卡颁奖礼了吗 you're going to the academy awards?
你打算穿什么礼服 What are you gonna wear?
太突然了 It's all so sudden.
我没考虑过 I hadn't given it a thought.
维多利亚 Wow, Victoria.
这是你的奥斯卡礼服吗 Is that your oscar gown?
维多利亚穿着有些短啊 Looks a little short for Victoria.
也许我就穿这个好了 Maybe I'll wear that.